First+Speech


 * To my group members, you are pleased to leave your comments about my first speech here. Thank you =) **

Rabeah Adawiyah: The topic is appropriate for audience which is a fact about bomb that can destroy a city as it can be delivered to all ages of audience. It is specific and narrow due to he gave details and facts in his speech. The topic gain my attention. Did introduce topic clearly because he just go for the content. Main points are clear, less supporting points. Organizational pattern is moderate. The connectives are clear and effective. Good non-verbal communication and less clear voice. Should project more emotion and voice. Less effective time management because the speech only delivered in 4minute and 9seconds. Can add some more facts. There is an error on the fact about the bomb, have to be careful next time. Good eye contact with the audience. The language is clear and concise. Have few grammar errors. Can improved on the standard pronunciation. For the conclusion, the main points were not summarized. Do not have a memorable statement in the last sentence of the speech.

Arif Shafiqin:

Topic:
I think the topic is about 'nuclear bomb' is interesting and it is suitable for all age. The topic is narrow and specific as the speaker talk about bombing event in Nagasaki and Hiroshima.

Intro:

 * 1) You start your speech by asking a question making the audience to pay attention in you.
 * 2) You did not introduced your speech clearly.
 * 3) There is no preview of your speech but still can be improved.

Body:

 * 1) The body of your speech was great as well as full of contents but the supporting detail is not enough and not clear.
 * 2) The connectives is not good enough,it need some improvements.
 * 3) Organizational pattern is moderate and no clear enough.

Conclusion:

 * 1) You summary is not clear enough but still can be improved to make more creative ending.
 * 2) There was no memorable statement.

Language:

 * 1) The language that you used was clear and can be understood by audiences.
 * 2) There was a grammatical error.
 * 3) You also have used standard pronunciations and can do more better.

Delivery:

 * 1) Less of non-verbal communication.
 * 2) The voice sometimes becomes quite slowly and and need to have tone or pitching in some part to make it interesting to listen.
 * 3) The time management was not good enough.
 * 4) There is eye contact with the audience.